St Mary's News WEEKLY NEWS – THURSDAY 10th MARCH

By: Martin Gibson, Churchwarden. Contact mrtngibs@aol.com

Services this weekend: Saturday 12th REFRESH (see article below) at 4:30pm with Paul and Natasha Harrod. Sunday 9:30am Morning Prayer led by Janet McBride; 6pm Holy Communion with Rev David Moss.

Regarding REFRESH, above, there is a lot of interest amongst our congregation (and the PCC) about the way in which we all worship, particularly on a Sunday. We have ALWAYS attended church on a Sunday and we all LOVE the services. But let’s be honest, an awful lot of us are knocking on a bit and it may be that other parishioners in the 30 – 50 year age group might find our formal, centuries-old, stand up, sit down type of worship – BORING (shock horror!). But again, let’s face it, these are the same people who have children in the 5 – 16 year age bracket – and aren’t these the ones who will be our future?

Personally, I love our traditional services, but am I being selfish? Should I not be thinking about who will be worshipping in St Mary’s in 10 years time? And should I not be giving more support to alternative services like REFRESH?

A concert will be held in St Mary’s on Friday 1st April at 7pm in support of Ukraine. Performing will be Kate Milner-Evans (daughter of Linda) and friends. Kate is an internationally recognised singer. There will be no entry charge but obviously donations will be more than welcome. Teas, coffee and licensed bar.

On Monday the Movie Club showed a film called “The Courier”. This was the true story of British businessman turned spy, Greville Wyn (played by Benedict Cumberpatch) who in 1960/61/62 joined forces with a Russian “spy”, Oleg Penkoskvy, to warn the West of the impending Cuban Missile Crisis (1962). The parallels with what is happening today were a bitter pill. Exactly sixty years on, a Russian president is again threatening world peace with nuclear weapons. The film was watched by a large audience with a mixture of horror, admiration and foreboding.

Tim Auburn’s funeral will be held on Friday 25th March at 12 noon.

This blog, which I have been writing for almost 3 years, comes out under the auspices of St Mary’s church, and with the authority granted to a churchwarden. I have never expressed an opinion on the many difficulties which afflict our parish, the Diocese and the Church of England at large. But without the authority the office of Churchwarden bestows, it may prove inappropriate for me to continue.

And finally:

Boris Johnson walks into a Bank 

He needs to cash a cheque. As he approaches the cashier he says, “Good morning, could you please cash this cheque for me?”

The cashier says “It would be my pleasure. Could you please show me your ID?”

Johnson replies: “Truthfully, I did not bring my ID with me as I didn’t think there was any need to. I am Boris Johnson, Prime Minister.””

The cashier says: “Yes, I know who you are, but with all the regulations and monitoring of the banks because of impostors and forgers and requirements of the legislation, etc., I must insist on seeing ID.”

Johnson says: “Just ask anyone here at the bank who I am and they will tell you. Everybody knows who I am.”

The Cashier responds: “I am sorry, Mr Johnson, but these are the bank rules and I must follow them.” 

Johnson says: “Come on please, I am urging you, please cash this cheque.” 

The cashier relents.

“Alright sir, here is an example of what we can do,” he says. 

“One day, Tiger Woods came into the bank without an ID. To prove he was Tiger Woods he pulled out his putter and made a beautiful shot across the Thames into a cup of tea held by the bank’s chairman without spilling a drop. With that shot we knew him to be Tiger Woods and cashed his cheque.

“Another time, Gordon Ramsay came in without an ID. To prove who he was, he made delicious chicken curry right here on my table, called the branch manager a f…..g donkey, and fired everyone at the fish and chips shop next door. With that we knew who he was and cashed his cheque. So sir, what can you do to prove that it is you and only you?”

Mr Johnson stands there thinking and thinking and finally says, “Honestly, my mind is a total blank. There is nothing that comes to my mind. I can’t think of a single thing. I have absolutely no idea what to do.”

The cashier replies: “That will do perfectly, sir. Will that be large or small notes?” 

News archive